I’ve lost my voice and I’m not worried.

help help… I’m sick… I said to my housemate on Saturday. Well… I didn’t so much ‘say’ it, as I whispered it in my horse empty tone.

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This week I got tonsillitis, I even had to go to my GP, and here are my thoughts.

Firstly, I thought it would pass, as it usually does. I had a bad flu/tonsillitis thing at New Years for those of you following along on all the other social medias! and that passed in three days of hardcore drug taking and having to do two gigs and try not to die. (the drugs were lemsip max cold & flu, but I like to pretend I’m cool when I’m sick).

So, I got this on Monday, and I assumed I’d be fine. I went to work twice, I took some painkillers and I just waited for it to be over. However, by Thursday it had infact gotten worse… to the point where my mother, who had come to visit to change cars so that I now have a car I can fit my harp in, said ‘You need to see a doctor’. ‘What?! noooo. I’ll be fine! It’ll pass’ I said, like the naive lunatic you’ve all come to know and love me as.

It did not. Obviously, I mean, you read the title, you know how ‘getting sick’ works! So I woke up on Friday and I could not speak… not because of an issue with my voice, but because my tonsils had decided to become to size and shape of my wind pipe, and over the back of my throat with a thick coat of phlegm for good measure. (N.B. this will probably be the grosses post I’ve ever written… but it’s my blog and also I’m very brave!)

So, I phoned up my local clinic, which by the way, how is that the best way of doing things in 2017!? If you have trouble speaking you’ve got to call someone to see a doctor about it? Geez! It took 3 minutes of me panic speaking to this receptionist and coughing up phlegm into my sink to good an appointment. Please tell me why a digital booking system would be more difficult… well for old people but fine!

Anyway, The GP’s office took less than an hour. a great thing about this country is our NHS. I saw my GP in 20 minutes, I explained what was wrong because I had looked up all the symptoms and issues on the NHS website and she gave me a prescription. Which I then went across the street to the pharmacy and had filled for free, because living is Wales is wonderful! (there’s no downside! we get less rain in Cardiff than London, and our air is clean!)

Anyway, so over the weekend it went from back to worse, as it is known to do. there was 4am bile vomiting, there was a period of three days where I couldn’t eat solids. However, I did get to watch the whole of Netflix, so I guess that was a good thing!

sleeping was a mess, you try sleeping with your mouth open and then it’s all dry and scratchy and painful. you try sleeping with your mouth closed and your body’s like ‘hey you want some phlegm to swallow? you like swallowing don’t ya? here ya go!’. And you’re lying there having to decide whether letting yourself drool all over your pillow is a better plan than having to suffer another swallow.

Anyway, so Saturday rolled around and what was a groggled bear noise became a hushed whimper.  I physically could not make noises. This continued through to Sunday where the pain lessened and the tonsils went down, but I still sounded like a husk blowing down a dirt path when I tried to communicate. A similar thing on monday, however I was well enough to get out my harp and have a play, and showing definite signs of improvement.

Which brings us to today. Today is the ‘Ssssh’ day, or the ‘Safty day’. As a singer you always want to make sure you’re doing your very best to aid recovery after vocal issues, this usually means, where other people would start talking and working again, you take that extra time to firm everything back up. I can talk without pain, but I am not going to today. Tomorrow I’m going back to some very VERY light singing to see how everything is but nothing more, looking to start singing back at work by next Monday.

This is not the first time I’ve lost my voice. in the two cases before this it was because of over use, or over use during an illness. I usually can happily sing through most illness without any pain or discomfort or damage. As long as I’m hydrated and not on any medication or painkillers, singing through a cold or a cough, is usually fine for me. This was not like that. had sung briefly for my parents on Thursday and sung on Tuesday and Wednesday busking. Which were not stressful or over worked days. The loss of voice came from the tonsillitis itself, which is a common symptom of tonsillitis (just fyi). So I’m being very gentle and careful and slow in getting back to working with the voice to ensure no prolonged damage occurs.

I’m not worried.

People get sick. And, big surprise, singers are people! (I know! what a wild, far out concept!). I lost my voice because I got sick, and then I was quiet for a week and it should return in full working order if I don’t push it or over stretch it and allow it to health.

I am trained and I have worked with my instrument for long enough to know that this is what it needs.

If I was a huge X factor star, I wouldn’t know this. I would take a bunch of painkillers so I could go on stage and perform because my PA decided that this was the best course of action, then I would probably have to drink some alcohol and then sleep in a hotel somewhere because that’s what I imagine their lives are like.

The issue with stars like Adele and Sam Smith’s vocal damage is that their schedules don’t work around their instruments. They don’t let them travel and rest and rest and travel, it’s a quick tour so you don’t have to pay people too much and the singer gets worn out and then they get nodes and then they have surgery!?! Which is real vocal damage!

At the beginning of the month I was so worried that I had no gigs lined up this month, but in this case that worked out for my favour! as a self-employed musician, you usually can’t afford to get sick! You don’t get sick pay, or days off. You have to work on days people tell you to. It’s a lot like an office job but your boss changes constantly and you have no workers benefits… But I’m sure if you read this blog you’ll know every.damn.week I talk about how hard my job is… blah blah blagh.

Anyway, my voice will recover and I have enough time for that to happen without unconvincing anyone. So, for that, and only that reason, I’m glad I’m not a super famous singer like Adele but with a harp… because who’d want that life…? honestly…? having to hold all those Grammies? yuck! too heavy, no thank you!

see ya next month!


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